@Moldy_Jellybean: At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I'm not going.
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@moose_chocolate: I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating the entire box of donuts.
@Adar79Angie: You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance.
@seandunn76: Patients get nervous when I walk into surgery wearing my lucky cape but I didn't go to medical school so I need all the luck I can get.