@Moldy_Jellybean: At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I'm not going.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: Girl: I dumped my last boyfriend cause he always gave short answers. I never knew what he was thinking. That's so annoying, right? Me: Word
@causticbob: Its funny how your parents tell you its their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.
@polite_good_boy: DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof