@bridger_w: At my funeral, I'd like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of
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@blade_funner: [the invention of tennis] "I don't want this ball." "Well, I don't want it either."
@AndrewChamings: [shark tank] me: ridiculously wide sunglasses shark 1: i'm out shark 2: i'm out hammerhead shark: i'm listening
@Izianikapani: Saw a video for vegan cauliflower icecream on fb and heard the four horsemen of the apocalypse thunder overhead.
@suzieQ0007: Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.