@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
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@TheToddWilliams: TRUMP: Let's get that Muslim Band going "Band? We thought you said ban" TRUMP: No way, that's harsh. Also, how's that Mexican mall coming?
@shariv67: When villainy didn't pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA.
@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
@ChrisIsJoking: It's weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That's like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing.