@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
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@GrantTanaka: As I waved my gun in their faces, I thought to myself "What kinda weird bank has children, clowns, presents, & balloons all over the place?"
@Crunk_Jews: So apparently when a woman asks what you're looking for in a relationship, "a way out" isn't the right answer.
@iamspacegirl: "Makin all the ladies drop they panties" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret.
@kumailn: Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience.