@Tmoney68: At some point, a guy looked at an onion that was clearly purple & called it red. AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LETTING IT HAPPEN.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: The sculpture of Amelia Earhart in the Burbank airport doesn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling before flying.
@mattsurely: Why are you even asking me that mom. I love jumping off bridges, either by myself or as a group, you know that.
@BrainFumbles: Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ...
@nayomeewallace: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.