@clarkekant: At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard.
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@ilovepie84: I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette.
@Beatonm5: Soon as I finish untangling these earphones I'm goin to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves
@Reverend_Scott: October 31st, 2187: Sugar is now illegal. Parents search their kid's Halloween bags to make sure the razor blades don't have candy in them.
@TheMichaelRock: *sees Salvation Army bell ringer* "Here you go, buddy. Merry Christmas!" "Sir, we don't accept children." *runs away*