@markleggett: At some point, male "pick-up artists" are just going to start chasing women around like Benny Hill.
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@dafloydsta: NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?
@ericsshadow: [eulogy] "Before we get started I'd like to ask Jenny, Dawn, Rachel, the deceased's 2 sons and the entire front row to put down your phones"
@MaryKoCo: This outfit is called Running Into Someone I Know Would Be The Ultimate Worst Thing That Could Happen
@Elifcello: I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER.