@jonnysun: *at the movie theater* umm ok the hackers also said theyd do a terror unless u giv me unlimited free popcorn and uh.. also that guys popcorn
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@ehchinoo: I bet dogs have a really hard time playing Twister Left paw: grey Other left paw: darker grey, but not the darkest grey. Sort of in between
@causticbob: BBC:when a women is attracted to a man, she speaks in a higher pitch than normal That explains why every woman I talk to sounds like Batman
@squirrel74wkgn: All these gifts today better get me laid. Wife (in a narrator's voice): ...but, then she overheard him talking...and he never did get laid.
@tastefactory: INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]