@JasonLight73: At this point you can get more Gas for your $5 bill at a Taco Bell than you can at a Shell Station
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@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them
@chris_isloi: Whenever someone is about to tell me about their day, I just cover my ears and yell "SPOILER ALERT!"
@david8hughes: [the followin is based on a true story] *clips of me hittin my shin on my bed every nite for a year* Narrator: its like he forgets its there