@bourgeoisalien: At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, "Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."
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@AndRyanTF: I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me
@FeelingMervis: UGH. When I text girls that I have standards, I really need to stop abbreviating the word standards to STDs.
@batkaren: What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?
@phirm: Hey is it just me or is there another two-letter pronoun used to refer to oneself as the object of a verb or preposition?