@lilgapeach30: Ate reduced fat cheese on low calorie bread and my taste buds had me indicted for hate crimes.
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@SteveSuckington: The average person eats 8 spiders a year *eating 2nd bowl of spiders* "WHO'S AVERAGE NOW DAD?"
@Epygma: *Jesus drinking at a bar* *jesus orders another drink* "jesus you're too drunk I can't give you anymore" Kan I jst haev a water? "nice try"
@Rollinintheseat: Why do authors subtitle their books, "A Novel". Did someone look at their book one day and say "I thought this was a sandwich?"