@lilgapeach30: Ate reduced fat cheese on low calorie bread and my taste buds had me indicted for hate crimes.
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@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.
@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
@TheCatWhisprer: Based on her reaction I don't think my toddler will ever forgive me for gently wiping her face.