@TheTweetOfGod: Atheists are Popeless romantics.
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@TheAlexNevil: The Mrs recognizes my "tell" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud "A-OOGA" noise.
@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
@Drivelodeon: If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all.
@SunnySideUp1987: If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future.