@WonderMonkey78: Atheists don't believe in God or the "i before e except after c" rule of spelling.
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@SteveSuckington: Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter
@awesomelocks: Woman: The bees are dying. random male: I don't know what kind of men YOU hang out with but I'M not killing bees.
@NYC_Blonde: Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?