@papasuncle: ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
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@ZachSvobodny: My town had a really bad storm 2 days ago& my neighbor lost the roof of his house& the poor guy doesn’t have insurance. I’ve decided to start a gofundme to raise $ so I can go to Hawaii for a few weeks cuz he’s about to start doing construction& I hate being around all that noise
@girl_a_whirl: Daughter: Mom! I'm bringing Carl home to meet you guys this weekend Me: I should warn you, we're going to be nude this weekend Her: What?? Me: Yes, Friday to Sunday with no clothes Her: Why? Me: We want to be naked Her: Why can't you just admit you don't like him Me: So naked
@Parkerlawyer: Sure, we’ve all been through hard times, but even when I waitressed part time during college and ate ramen noodles every night for dinner I still saved my money for important things like Charmin double ply mega rolls.