@papasuncle: ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
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@DanMentos: confession: when my barber spins me around and hands me a mirror to check the back I just fake it. Who is even that coordinated?
@TheMichaelRock: *notices person behind me won't let people merge* *slows down and lets 12 people merge in front of me*
@juliussharpe: Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work.
@zachreinert03: I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him