@Chumpstring: Attention Prayer Warriors: My neighbor left town for a funeral today. Please pray for God to protect & guide me as I steal his barbecue pit.
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@egg_dog: don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
@OneStopComedy: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
@Nickadoo: The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like.
@PyrBliss: I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.