@Chumpstring: Attention Prayer Warriors: My neighbor left town for a funeral today. Please pray for God to protect & guide me as I steal his barbecue pit.
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@QwertyJones3: "See that guy over there? I have to serve him with papers today." -Oh really? Why? "Because I lost my tennis racquet."
@Birdhumms: "Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead" she hexed.
@P0tterhead_394: I like when babies cry and you make the same noise as them, and they look at you like, "Wow. That's annoying." and you're like, "I know."