@Super_Cynthia: [auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]
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@ClichedOut: They say 1 out of every 5 humans is Chinese. Out of me and my 4 siblings, I'm pretty sure it's either Carl or Liu Yang.
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: Done. ANGEL: What is it? GOD: A penguin. ANGEL: So it can fly, right? GOD: This one's a swimmin' bird. ANGEL: Dude... are you ok?
@StayNobody: [Drug Deal] How do I know ur not a cop? "If I was a cop would I do this?" *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is
@markydoodoo: If you press this button, you will get a piece of cheesecake but one person on earth will die so- *me already pressing button* sorry, what?