@Super_Cynthia: [auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]
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@outsmartedmommy: I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.
@KKBowls: "I know what you look like naked" - me to my girlfriends identical twin sister, every single time I see her.
@dawny716: Damn girl, are you alcohol? Because I've had too much of you and I'm going to throw up.
@Dawn_M_: I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular.