@HillbillyWV1965: Auto correct is my worst enema.
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@hazelmotes1: When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue.
@usermcuserface: My throat hurts, so I better keep swallowing 50 times a minute to make sure it still hurts.
@mynameisntdave: JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat
@AndrewChamings: I like big DUCKS & I cannot lie All you other mallards can't deny That a big beaked freak with a- Park Ranger: Sir, you're scaring the kids