@Mr_goose007: Auto correct tries to change the word "pussies" to "Aussies".... Just saying.
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@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: I want u to be more spontaneous ME: ok [later] ME: *hides in closet with goalie mask on waiting for her to walk by*
@Book_Krazy: ME: Did you hear Jack & Cindy got divorced and he's dating someone half his age? HUB: Yep. He's livin the dream ME: HUB: His dream not mine
@Rollmaninoz: Interviewer: where do ya see yourself in 5yrs Me: going through a Denny’s trash bin I: but you might get this job M: haha that’s… irrelevant