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@ray8968: Autocarrot sucks!
@jimmytorosian: I'm invincible. I can not be Vinced
@CulturedRuffian: Dear Girl Scouts,
Your Mints did not make me Thin.
ps. Please send more.
@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.
@3sunzzz: Nothing says, "I have a lot of free time," more than someone eating a pomegranate.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you?
SUPER DANCE OFF??
Cop: OH YEAH
Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest.