@joeyfullystated: Autocorrect changed Italian to Taliban, so now I'm sure the NSA is super interested in my ricotta cheese.
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@huntigula: WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie
@Shock_Monster: Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words.
@treydayway: Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.