@novicefather: Autocorrect changed "killing spree" to "killing soirée" so bring your finest evening attire because murder can be classy.
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@CrissieC: I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person.
@KeetPotato: doctor: "how much exercise do you do per week?" me: "um.. does sex count? doctor: "yes" me: "absolutely none"
@imagine_vegas: If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too