@WickedCynic: Autocorrect changed "meeting" to "mating" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work.
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@simoncholland: Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.
@Ilovelamp1979: This could be the LSD talking, but I'm pretty sure I'd be more comfortable riding on the roof of the car.
@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."