@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect changed "you flatter me" to "you flatten me" and shit just got really weird.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnAverageGiant: Today I had a mild panic attack over the fact I will die someday. Then I bought some shit on Amazon. Your mom is a hermaphrodite.
@OfficeofSteve: Whenever the wife asks what I'm eating. I chew faster like a dog and refuse to open my mouth
@XLCadillac: [job interview] “Why should I hire you?” “Because I have pictures of you with a goat?”