@DebasaurusRex: Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.
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@dave_cactus: ME: *robbing bank* More like, I'm BANKing on you not tripping the alarm! Haha! TELLER: Haha! COPS: *tackling me from behind* Haha!
@sucittaM: If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying "IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave.
@VerbsRProudest: Never underestimate mothers. They can turn "mayhem" into "ma'am" with one narrowed glance.