@DebasaurusRex: Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.
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@aparnapkin: What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question.
@GreenishDuck: Next time you're having a bad day just remember that alligators spend their whole lives looking like they're trying to do a push-up.
@juanadog: Say, hypothetically, I was stuck in an air vent over a dressing room at Lane Bryant. What kind of legal issues am I dealing with?
@beefman138: Me : Here, I made you a 'Best Hits of 2017' CD. Wife : This is an unopened blank CD-R. Me : Correct.