@SortaBad: Avocado Toast was invented by the Deep State as a way to suppress the economic advancement of millennials
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AndrewsNotFunny: I used to think girls were super nice to each other in bar washrooms until my friend came back from one thinking she should get bangs
@Notoliviasteel: DOCTOR: u broke ur leg in five places, how did this happen ME:*flashback of me trying to carry too much ice cream up the stairs* bears.
@BaileyXPaige: [at the gym] Trainer: "Why don't you tell me what your workout goals are." Me: "Goals? I'm just here so I don't eat for an hour."
@GabbbarSingh: Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned.