@thetigersez: Aww, you "only wish the best for your exes?" That's cool, I lie about things too.
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@apparentlysmart: Lois Lane was fired from the Daily Planet after she knocked Clark Kent's glasses off and then panicked thinking a plane was in the building.
@Dan_Haak: Me: *being hauled on a stretcher into an ambulance* Shotgun! EMT: dude your gonna die if you si- Driver: dammit Dave, he called shotgun
@_knuck_: *peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* "So, what did you order?"