@dave_cactus: There is literally no limit to how many Kevins you can be friends with.

@Nahdude83: A shirt so loud, you have to wear ear plugs when you put it on.

@myqkaplan: okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?

@shariv67: I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away.

@mrjohntofu: I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.