@anbrll00: Ayy girl, are you Ohio? Because we should be Dayton.
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@daemonic3: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? I'm in a High Occupancy lane Cop: Yes...wait IS THAT A JOINT? Yeah I'm HIGH lol Cop: My bad, free to go
@preritpathak: *At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes "No, I'm good" & "No, I'm just looking"* Me:"No, I'm just good looking"
@MarlonBrandNO: Blind Date: SWEET JESUS I DONT HAVE ANY EYES Me: Of course you don't, you're a date Blind Date: WHAT Me: Kind of like a big raisin