@bmarked21: Babies are instinctual swimmers like puppies, right? Kind of need an answer quickly.
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@shutupmikeginn: [Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests.
@mellimelle: The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am. Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule.
@rickkondell: Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.