@TheOneTrueDisco: Babies cry so that we can remember where we left them.
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@stanleybehrman: Thank you Twitter for introducing me to brilliant people , but your suggestions of who is similar to me is making me reassess my life.
@Ophelia_808: [stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!
@RandomRamblr: Boss: You need to work on your puncuality. Me: Sorry, but commas, are hard, to place. Boss: ....?
@Matt_The_1st: Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you "bro" from now on.