@TheOneTrueDisco: Babies cry so that we can remember where we left them.
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@markedly: Finally thought of a retort to my bro's friend who kicked me from his car in 1998 I don't need your Camero anyway Ricky MY LIFE is a joyride
@JediGigi: Robber: Give me your valuables Me: *hands him piece of paper* Robber: What's this? Me: My Netflix password.
@papasuncle: Me: Goodnight moon Moon: night. Me: What? Moon: nothing. It's fine. Me: You're acting distant Moon: I'm 238,900 miles away