@LeonEarlgrey: baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There's no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing
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@BigHeb7: I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?
@WilliamAder: "Damn you, Autocorrect!!!!" - Mark Zuckerberg, who had intended to announce that he was giving away 99% of his socks
@DanMentos: lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now