@jwoodham: Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like "the light is red!" and "don't text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
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@SteveKoehler22: Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps.
@iSamJack: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
@LeonEarlgrey: baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There's no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing
@FSUSteve: My iPhone just autocorrected the word nigga to NIGGA, like whoa iPhone. You can't just go around yelling the N word. Jesus.