@shawnspree: Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What's that? Like maybe 10 years?
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@notacroc: [date] HER: the last guy i went out with was as boring as a sack of potatoes ME: [gets up from table] my son is a potato
@sammyrhodes: Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce.
@sageboggs: Listen up, guys Neil Diamond is the name of a famous American singer-songwriter but it's also a checklist for anyone about to propose