@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.
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@Carbosly: Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink.
@DayneDimmick: I feel bad for spiders. I tripon my two feet all the time. Can only imagine the hell a clumsy spider goes through.
@drhappyknuckles: First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got.
@ericsshadow: [at my high school reunion] Hey guys, remember last year when we toilet papered Mrs. Krebb's house? "Dude that was in 1991."