@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?
@nerdyjewishgirl: Re: global warming and the cold weather "Liberals keep telling me the Titanic is sinking but my side of the ship is 500 feet in the air."
@WilliamRodgers: "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order