@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.
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@MentalAbortions: I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about stupid when they told you, "If you got it flaunt it."
@PaperWash: If your online dating profile says "I don't have sex on the first date" then that's why you're on a dating website.
@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.