@causticbob: be careful out there! #FiftyShadesOfGrey
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@Storminika: If men could get pregnant, not only would abortions be legal, I think McDonald's would be doing it.
@KayRants: Ignoring your text is easy. It's having to park my car 8 blocks away so you think I'm not home when you drive by that's awkward.
@Liber_what: Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too