@envydatropic: Be nice to Canadians, American tweeters. We're going to need somewhere to go after this next election
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@QwertyJones3: Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you're making me pitch a tent.
@phranqueigh: I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed
@JWilsonGA: Wife: I'm making breakfast for dinner tonight. What do you want? Me: Bacon. Wife: And? Me: *blank stare* Wife: AND? Me: A napkin?