@DaddyWaffles: Beards are a privilege, not a right
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [sees co-worker the next day after failing to kill him on purge night] mondays am i right?
@tastefactory: COP: We have reports of u blasting music. ME: Sorry I'll keep the Metallica down COP: We were told it was Britney Spears "Lucky." On repeat.