@Elizasoul80: Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible.
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@mrtruthandsoul: The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted
@forcemajeure40: She said she was a free spirit. That's good. Wasn't sure how I'd pay for a spirit.
@GhostPanther: Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Guess what I did Me: Captured Bigfoot? Wife: I got a great deal on kid's clothes Me: Just so I'm clear, Bigfoot is still out there?