@slaughthie: Been getting better gas mileage since I decided to turn off my car when I'm crying alone in parking lots.
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@Donna_McCoy: I'm looking at the serving size of Laughing Cow cheese and I see why the cow is laughing.
@stephenjmolloy: Job interviewer: What are your strengths? Me: Is the next question going to be about weaknesses? JI: Yes. Me: I'm very perceptive.
@DadandBuried: Take me down to Vatican City where the church loves greed and the Pope's all quitty! - Nuns N' Moses (I'm so sorry)
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.