@AristotlesNZ: Been rubbing this thing on my carpet for 2 hours and still nothing. How the hell do you recharge a smart car?
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@WilliamRodgers: BREAKING NEWS Justin Bieber said... And I quote, "Only God can Judge me!" THIS JUST IN ...Apparently I'm God.
@LizzieEMB: Turns out when you're a grown up, you CAN do anything you want, you just have to deal with the fallout... *pizza dough plops on head*
@sip_at_home_mom: I always hated videos of animals being shot with tranquilizer darts to trap and transport them. Now, I'm calculating the toddler dosage.
@Reverend_Scott: Superman: Only one cookie left. Batman: Rock, paper, scissors for it? Superman: 1, 2, 3, GO! Batman: *pulls out Kryptonite and eats cookie*