@chubbbypanda: Been throwing away this piece of tape for the last 17 hours
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@Spaziotwat: [First date] Him:"Waiter!" Waiter:"Sir?" Him:"Could you check the toilets? My date has been gone 2 hours. Also, her coat has been stolen"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Now that HBO has a partnership with Sesame Street we'll finally learn how to spell the names of all the Game of Thrones characters.
@WilliamRodgers: How to become a Saint 1: Become Catholic 2: Live an exemplary and pious life 3: Perform at least two miracles Or...Just Be Kanye's baby
@mommy_cusses: My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant.