@sucittaM: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.
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@Jasmin_Tatts: I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it.
@IamEnidColeslaw: what did I do this weekend? saw 50 Shades Darker & coughed through the whole movie on purpose
@kumailn: Be great if just once the winning actor was like "I mean it wasn't a particularly strong group this year, but still."
@AntiJokeTyrone: A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby