@nihilist_arbys: Before arbys gets sucked into the sun with the rest of the earth and everything you've ever known or loved, please come eat some of our crap
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@mrjohndarby: In the middle of an important meeting I quietly pass my boss a post-it note. It just says 'girl cats have wherskers'. He nods
@TheMichaelRock: Foreigner: I wanna know what love is.. Me: It's a feeling you get when.. Foreigner: I want you to show me.. Me: Ok, like wow. We just met
@Fred_Delicious: [Lawyer] "I can't stress this enough. You cannot plead that you're a wizard ok?" "ok" [Later in court] "I plead that im a wizard your honor"