@Stellacopter: Before emjois i had to end texts to my girlfriends with "two girls holding hands* heart* kissy face* glass of wine* nail polish* red lips."
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@maurajbg: ME: Say "Anagrams are stupid" one more time & I will rearrange your face. YOU: Anagrams are stupid. ME: You farce.
@timdonakowski: Naming your child “Roger” is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio.
@YayForJam: Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo
@kyle_thatisall: When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment "nice" on everyones old pool pics