@Stellacopter: Before emjois i had to end texts to my girlfriends with "two girls holding hands* heart* kissy face* glass of wine* nail polish* red lips."
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@interwebmemes: 2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say
@awkwardphilippe: [creating humans] God: They will have a powerful immune system Assistant: Boring God: ok some will die from eating a peanut A: Nice, nice
@trentistweeting: Bee Gees Songs: Saturday Night Fever Sunday Night Scurvy Monday Night Measles Tuesday Night Typhoid Wednesday Night Whooping Cough
@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard