@Lovestained555: Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant.
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@BromanConsul: I keep my friends close *lean in, whisper* and my anemones closer "Sir thats very fun but aquarium policy forbids sitting in the touch tank"
@lloydrang: People who tweet about politics should have to pass a small test: if i say "Oh, look, a dead bird," and you look UP, we take your phone away
@bobvulfov: [hunting] DAD: dont scare him ME: did u know we dump 16 tons of sewage into our waters every minute DEER: holy shit DAD: what did i just say