@Lovestained555: Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant.
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@rhysjamesy: So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me.
@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.
@Demented_Jokes: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.