@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.
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@QwertyJones3: [nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? "Yes of course we do!" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*
@ColoChiver: When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
@ClichedOut: [Sesame Street casting] Exec: ok, what kid role models do we have A grouch, cookie addict, and 2 jobless roommates Exec: Nice, let's roll