@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.
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@PetrickSara: "You saw nothing." -me, to the neighbor kids about the toy I just shoved in the trash
@ericONEderful: A naked man brushed his teeth next to me as I washed my hands. This is why I don't go to the gym often.
@KenJennings: People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like "Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."