@CloydRivers: If you plant a block of ramen noodles in the ground and water it with cold ones every day, it will grow into a college kid. It's science.

@UNTRESOR: "His arms are spaghetti, his feet are spaghetti, on stage he's spaghetti, his Mom's spaghetti." - Eminem first draft

@BruceForce: Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31

@shwebby3: Clean and jerk is a weight lifting term? Oh... *Tosses tissues in the trash*

@SaddestTiger: sometimes i call watermelons summer pumpkins and nobody ever knows what im talking about.