@Julian_Deane: Before I proposed to my GF I asked her father but he was already married.
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@liv_thatsme: (Boyfriend reaches for an old Target bag to line the trash can) Me: NOT THE NICE TRASH BAGS
@SaltyCorpse: Toilet paper folded into a triangle in a hotel does nothing for me except remind me that someone touched the tp I need to use.
@wendchymes: Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!
@DurtMcHurtt: All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don't even remember what he did anymore.