@Jeffwni: Before NASA sent Curiosity, Mars was bustling with cats.
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@Quartzjixler: Hey middle-aged people who suddenly change your first name--screw you. I'm calling you what I've been calling you for the last 10 years.
@Sassafrantz: Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys.
@onion_an: [at restaurant on 1st date pretending not to be an eel] Date: The wine is lovely great choice Me: *helplessly slips off chair*