@Skullcat: Before this goes any further, it's important that I know your position on foreign films with subtitles.
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@GirlRestrained: Oh look a Spider...... Oh look Listerine.... Oh look spider wiggling for life.... Minty fresh dead spider
@notalogin: [God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems.
@chrisanna4real: My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I'm not drink. Drank. Drunk.
@Mehrwane: Interviewer: It says here on your resume you can make chicks laugh, how? Me [holding a chick in my hand & tickling it]: I'm a miracle worker