@moose_chocolate: Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here.
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@david8hughes: [stares at baby for almost an hour after I've finished feeding him] Wife: he can't talk, he's not going to thank you
@hippieswordfish: hey, a mime! *mime starts having heart attack* hes pretending to die lol *mime collapses* *hours later still watching his body* wow hes good
@Cain_Unable: 1 Ring to rule them all, 1 Ring to find them, 1 Ring to bring them all & in the darkness bind them. 3 rings to let Mum know you're home safe
@HeidiGolightly: Do I still have feelings for my ex husband? Yes. I think "stabby" is a feeling, right?