@moose_chocolate: Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@House_Feminist: when swimming in the ocean always wear a hat so you don't get sharks in your hair
@david8hughes: [identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation
@david8hughes: Doctor: ok, just need a urine sample & we're done. Me handing him my boxers: I'm in a rush. Just wring these out.