@moose_chocolate: Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here.
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@headway10: Overheard in a restaurant. Grandma: "Oh, I could really go for a Quickie right about now!" Grandpa: "It's pronounced a Quiche, dear!"
@internetluke: Man down! Send in back up! *wife comes rushing in the room* "What happened?!" *i dip another chip in the salsa to rescue the broken chip*
@NoogsCorner: Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that.